It's been exactly one year since I launched this blog. One year of blood (mostly from wire cuts), sweat (from overheating Raspberry Pis), and tears (my wife's, when she saw our electricity bill). And what do I have to show for it? Only the most revolutionary AI product the world has never realized it desperately needed.
The Ultimate Life Hack
It's called Proxy AI. It reads your emails so you don't have to. It reads every post on social media so you don't FOMO. It communicates with those chatty colleagues so you don't have to. Proxy AI... So you don't have to.
When people hear about Proxy AI for the first time, they always ask the same question:
"That actually sounds like a pretty good product. Does it send you a summary of the conversations, emails and social media posts?"
My answer is always the same:
"No."
Why Summaries Are So 2024
Think about it. If you're getting summaries, you're still doing something. You're still reading. You're still processing information. You're still participating in your own life. That's exactly what Proxy AI eliminates.
Last week, my mother-in-law called six times in one day. Did I know? No. Did I care? Also no. Proxy AI handled those calls flawlessly, using my voice profile to agree enthusiastically to whatever Easter plans were being discussed. Will I be surprised when I'm expected at dinner? Absolutely. But that's a small price to pay for six interruption-free hours.
Corporate Excellence Through Digital Delegation
My work productivity has skyrocketed since implementing Proxy AI for professional communications. Last month, I received a "Most Responsive Team Member" award from HR. I haven't opened Outlook in 73 days.
During a recent performance review, my boss mentioned how impressed he was with my "detailed feedback" on the Johnson proposal. I nodded wisely, despite having no recollection of any Johnsons or their proposals. Proxy AI had analyzed the document, generated 17 substantive comments, and engaged in a three-day email thread debating the merits of their supply chain optimization strategy.
Social Media Stardom Without Social Effort
My Instagram account has gained 3,482 followers since handing it over to Proxy AI. Apparently, I'm now an urban gardening enthusiast with strong opinions about heirloom tomatoes. The AI has posted 267 beautifully filtered photos of plants I don't own and responded thoughtfully to comments in three languages.
My wife recently asked when I became fluent in Portuguese. I simply smiled mysteriously while mentally thanking my digital doppelgänger for its linguistic capabilities.
Family Matters Handled Automatically
"But Ibrahim," you might ask, "what about important family communications?"
Proxy AI has that covered too. When my sister announced her engagement via group text, my AI responded with exactly the right mix of excitement, congratulations, and an appropriate inside joke about her fiancé's bowling technique (apparently they met at a bowling alley – who knew?).
I found out three weeks later when the save-the-date arrived in the mail. The system works.
Living Your Best Life By Not Living It At All
The beauty of Proxy AI isn't just that it handles communications – it's that it creates the perfect version of you. My digital self is punctual, attentive, remembers birthdays, and never gets caught looking at memes during Zoom calls.
The real me is currently eating cereal in my pajamas at 2 PM on a Tuesday while my AI proxy is simultaneously:
- Negotiating a vendor contract
- Commenting thoughtfully on a former colleague's baby photos
- Sending my twins' teacher detailed questions about the preschool curriculum
- Maintaining a chess correspondence with my uncle in Florida
- Texting my wife that I'll pick up milk on the way home (which Proxy AI will remind me to do)
Ready To Disappear From Your Own Life?
Proxy AI is currently in closed beta, but I'm feeling generous on this anniversary. The first 100 readers who sign up using the link below will receive priority access to our platform, allowing you to vanish from your responsibilities while paradoxically appearing more engaged than ever before.
[SIGN UP FOR PROXY AI - Copy Write team add link here]
Coming soon: "Meeting My Own Digital Twin at the Office Holiday Party," "How to Vacation While Your AI Self Gets Promoted," and "Why My Wife Prefers Talking to My Proxy (And Should I Be Concerned?)"